Last night I was chilling with my friend Ivan that I haven't seen in quite a while. After an hour or so of casual conversation we get into politics. Ivan's a smart guy and we can have meaningless conversation and meaningful conversations, and last night he helped put me in my place. That's what a real friend can do. After talking religion and politics and sharing how outraged I get at complete ignorance, and how I become even more outraged at people who willingly spread ignorance he said, "Hold on a minute. I agree with you. I've tried to fight it, too; but maybe you're doing yourself more harm than good." Then he makes the obvious connection between my insomnia and how often I become engaged in debates with the people I refer to a the fucking willing ignorants of the world. "See," he said, "I agree with you, but I can see how riled up you get." Connection. Bingo. Fuck.
I like politics and I like debating issues. I think it keeps me mentally sharp and forces me to look more deeply at contemporary problems of our time. It also makes me fucking crazy when I start connecting too many of the dots. Maybe he's right. Maybe I should relax a little bit. Maybe I just need some time preaching to the choir so I don't always feel like I'm going into battle. We'll see.
At least I have a friend who knows me well enough to tell me the truth. That's more important than politics.
i used to do that - love to get into discussions with anyone. then i noticed it made my heart race, i felt anxious about going to the boards where my discussions were happening, this was online. I've given it up in my old age. i sleep much better. think about family history, the kids, the grandkids, the weather. much better.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I need to learn.
ReplyDelete